Description

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Being the parent of a gender-questioning child is confusing. You want to do what’s best for your child, but doctors and therapists might make recommendations that conflict with your instincts as a parent, the person who best knows your child’s unique history, challenges and struggles. Do you immediately affirm a newly professed gender identity, watch and wait, or pursue some other path? While many books have been written for parents who choose to facilitate their child’s gender transition, there are almost no books for parents who do not think that social or medical transition is the best option for their child. Written by Sasha Ayad, Lisa Marchiano and Stella O’Malley – three mental health professionals who collectively have decades of experience working with trans-identified adolescents and their families – When Kids Say They’re Trans is a resource designed explicitly for those parents who do not think that hasty affirmation or medicalization is the best way to ensure the long-term health and well-being of their child. It is also for those who simply aren’t so sure about the best course of action and want to learn the facts before committing to a particular approach. At a time when schools, institutions and governments increasingly promote ideas about gender that confuse children and even encourage kids to keep secrets from their parents, the authors celebrate parental love and engagement as the bedrock that children need to move out into the world. As the authors make clear, parents who have successfully helped their children navigate gender distress without resorting to surgery and hormones have done so by actively taking the reins – not by reflexively outsourcing this responsibility or waiting until they found the ideal therapist or doctor. When Kids Say They’re Trans tells you all you need to know as a parent to help your child struggling with gender issues – and will give you the confidence to trust your own instincts as you guide and support your child on the path toward growth, acceptance and maturity.

About the Author

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Sasha Ayad is a licensed professional counselor in private practice who works with teens and young adults struggling with issues of gender dysphoria and gender identity. She also runs a robust parent coaching membership group to help parents navigate their child's identity exploration with discernment, wisdom, and compassion. Sasha is cohost of the podcast Gender: A Wider Lens. Lisa Marchiano is a licensed clinical social worker and a certified Jungian analyst. She consults with parents of trans-identifying teens and detransitioners and is the author of Motherhood: Facing and Finding Yourself. Stella O’ Malley is a psychotherapist and best-selling author whose work focuses on teenagers, parenting, and family dynamics. In addition to facilitating a parent coaching site that provides practical help to parents who are navigating their child’s gender-related distress, she is the cohost of Gender: A Wider Lens podcast and director of Genspect, an international organization that offers a healthy approach to sex and gender.

Praise For…

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"Parents of children who announce a transgender identity often find themselves in a world of confusion and contradiction. These brilliant, clear-eyed authors — all with extensive clinical experience — have written the emergency survival guide for families."—Abigail Shrier, author of Irreversible Damage: Teenage Girls and the Transgender Craze

"A wise and empathic resource for parents struggling with intensely difficult parenting terrain, based on the authors’ extensive expertise as therapists for gender-dysphoric youth. A godsend for lonely and anguished parents trying to do the best for their trans-identified child."—Kathleen Stock, author of Material Girls

"The book could not have come soon enough. Its authors are leading figures in the effort to bring sense and rationality to the conversation. . . . For any parent embarking on the gender journey, When Kids Say They're Trans should be the first stop along the way."—Meghan Daum, host of The Unspeakable Podcast and author of The Problem With Everything: My Journey Through The New Culture Wars

"Sasha, Stella, and Lisa bring enormous warmth, insight, and intelligence to the care of troubled children and teenagers. This book is essential reading for all parents and professionals supporting young people struggling with the issue of gender identity."—Louise Perry, author of The Case Against the Sexual Revolution

"This compassionate and evidence-based book is an essential counterbalance to the ubiquitous “trans child” narrative that has misled so many loving parents into unwittingly harming their gender-distressed children."—Helen Joyce, author of Trans:When Ideology Meets Reality

"Brilliant, compassionate, and wise beyond measure, therapists Marchiano, Ayad, and O'Malley provided a haven of understanding and calm support for me after my child announced a trans identity. Their insights helped me regain my parental footing and helped our family stay connected through a very challenging time. What a gift to have their insight and expertise available!"—Kate Parker, parent and Library Director